(a non-WoW post)
I wonder why we allow ourselves to repeat our patterns of behavior. For years now I have done the same thing. My family will call or write and I won't answer them immediately. Then, as the days go by I feel more and more guilty about not responding. But, I do nothing about it. Instead, I begin crafting the excuse for why I was unable to respond. As days go by, the excuse has to be more creative, as it must explain days or weeks of delay. I wait until the last possible minute to respond then feel horrible.
Why don't I respond immediately? Why do I always delay response? Currently, my sister is waiting for a response to an email and my mom is waiting for me to return her call. What in the world is my excuse?
I know one reason I avoid communication -- I feel I have nothing to tell them about. I do nothing at all in my life except work and play WoW. My husband and I occasionally go to visit his brother and his family in Connecticut. But, beyond that, he and I only sit at home watching TV or doing stuff on the computer. What is there about my life worth sharing?
While I sit avoiding contact, my family wonders if I'm upset with them for some reason. Why do I make them go through that?
Why can't I stop this pattern of behavior? Why can't I get off my arse and call or write them back?
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Same here, I have absolutely no idea. Sometimes I blame the phone for ringing... but ultimately I guess its human contact that we are just not accustomed to anymore.
ReplyDeleteI dont know.
I finally called both my mom and sister yesterday. I feel good for having finally done it. But I know in my heart that I've only just reset the cycle. My sister's birthday is coming up in a few weeks. I hope I will call her, but I have the sinking feeling I will repeat my pattern.
ReplyDeleteI wonder also if it has something to do with not wanting to do things I'm expected to do. If there's an expectation, I avoid doing it.